i break everything i touch.

hi. my name is irrelevant.questo è in italiano, ma io non sono da Italia. i don't even speak italian. i use it as a form of escape. it is a third language to me. the first, is the one i do not use. that is english, in the form of verbal speech. like, telling people something. anything. that's not me. the second, the one i DO use, is the language in my head. i guess it isn't catergorized, because you can't label this. all my thoughts, they would scare you. terrify you. they do to me too. but that's what i like. being so afraid of something you have no control over. it eats at you until your flesh is torn, mentally, which drives you to the phyiscal point of self destruction. i am delusional, yes, but i am strong. i do not give in to temptation like fat. i do not bow down to needs like food. i show myself what i am capable of by picking up that blade. would you like to know more? of course not. no-one looks long enough to notice. someday i will topple over the edge, maybe even pull the trigger. yeah, i'm empty, my mind never sleeps, and this will probably kill me. but you lost your daughter, sister, friend a long time ago. i'm fucked up. there's a voice in my head, but i keep it to myself. would anyone even read or translate this? no, probably not. but even if you did, congratulations. what a waste. there's nothing left for me to be. this way, i am free, and i am capable of destroying me.